Charles Jerome Ruderman, Quietly Great

Our father, Charles Jerome Ruderman died at 5:20PM this past Thursday, May 11, 2006. He left behind his loving wife Barbara of close to 50 years, His four loving children, Ira, Marci, Cari and Nancy (fondly known as the triplets), two beautiful grandchildren, Julianne and Nickolas, daughter-in-law Rebecca, son-in-law Michael, as well as the sweet memories of anyone who knew him.

Dad was 76 years old, and while just a mere high school graduate who worked almost to the day he died, he invented nothing, discovered nothing, wrote nothing and was elected to no office. But, G-d, I have known few like him and neither have all of you.

Dad was born in Brooklyn and spent many of his summers at the Six Lake House bungalow colony near Monticello, NY. He enjoyed high school so much that he stayed an extra year and served as a volunteer Army Air Corps observer as a teen during WWII. He often said he once wanted to be a pilot, but never did so. Dad served for 6 and ½ years in the Army National Guard and Dad held all kinds of jobs, from working as a soda-jerk, to laying carpet, to selling wine, to working for a major belt manufacturer, to selling shoes. In his “retirement” years he worked with the “kids” as an aide at Lindell School and found his perhaps favorite niche job as a Range Officer at The Town of Huntington Rifle and Pistol range.

Some of this may seem colorful, but it is not what made Dad exceptional. Dad was exceptional because he was a good man. Not once- -not ever—did we ever know him to cheat. Not in business, not on his wife, not on his friends and never on his children. We know of no one that Dad hurt, no one he slighted and no one he abandoned.

We all know of many great men we have heard of, the politicians, the statesmen, the rich, the powerful, the creative…and few can make such claims. They often say they had to “break a few eggs” to make their omelet. My father made no omelet, but he broke no eggs either.

If you knew dad you would never hear him mention any regrets. Never from him did you hear any reservations about how he neglected his children in favor of work, how he spent too much money, how he cared too much about the appearance of things and little about their substance. Dad did not understand people who were not charitable and who exchanged wives as they do cars or who would slight a child to score another business deal.

Dad did have his dreams, but the overriding one was to lead an honorable life.

Dad died peacefully this past Thursday, with all of us by his side. While he was in some pain and failing on his last few days, he was still able to joke around, still not really wanting to go.

Dad was the most extraordinary of ordinary men, what in Yiddish is called a mensch. Not a great man, but rarer still, a good one. There is nothing greater and he will be sorely missed by us all.